I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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