respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
