Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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