direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
