New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
