I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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