He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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