Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
