I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
bring money and cleavage
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
