I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
