Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
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