If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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