I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
