I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
