Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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