I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
