NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
