It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
