i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
