Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
