this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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