How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
how drunk are you?
Several
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
