apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
