Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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