yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
