for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
