If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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