i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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