That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
