I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize