Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
