Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
