I got chris browned last night
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
