I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
