White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
