still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Someone came in the potted fern
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
