why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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