How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
