I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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