you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
