Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
