Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
