please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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