I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
