I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
only you would photoshop your dick
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
