Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
