Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
