Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
