This girl is more easily done than said...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize