Barsexuality is the new black.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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