just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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