I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
