just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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