Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
