$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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