I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
