She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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