Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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