okay pat passed out under dana's car
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
