Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
