she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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