I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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