omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
