it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize