I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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