Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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