i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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